The Greatest 80’s Action Star… Of The 90´s!
Det har blivit dags för ett gästinlägg som klår de flesta av bloggens tidigar inlägg. I detta gästinlägg kommer en jämförelse mellan Arnold och Dolph att göras. Vem av dessa herrar är den största actionstjärnan? Ja, läs så finner ni svaret!
1985
ARNOLD:
*Commando – Don’t let your girlfriend watch Commando, she’ll grow testicles and a full beard and order you back in the kitchen, that’s how manly this movie is.
*Red Sonia – Ouch, this film killed the Conan franchise and it isn’t even a Conan movie. Arnolds two minutes on screen were the only two minutes I stopped projectile womiting.
DOLPH:
*Rocky IV – It still angers me to this day that Ivan Drago didn’t use Rocky as a baby wipe in that last fight, but since the movie contains more musical training montages than it does words, it is still a near flawless piece of entertainment.
*A View To A Kill – If you even think about blinking you will miss DL’s cameo in this comedy version of James Bond.
WINNER:
DOLPH – Commando and Rocky IV are equally matched but A view to a kill is better than Red Sonia (but not funnier).
1986
ARNOLD:
*Raw Deal – After a cake fight with his drunken wife Arnold quips: "Yuo shouldn’t drink… and bake!". 50 % Low budget action, 50% comedy, 100% not very good.
DOLPH:
(nothing)
WINNER:
ARNOLD – It’s close, though.
1987
ARNOLD:
*Predator – Not even the fact that the Predator looks excactly like my ex-girlfriend could keep me from admitting that it’s an incredible movie.
*The Running Man – A story written by Stephen King wich he refuses to take credit for? – Check! Cheesy one-liners? – Check! Bodybuilders in skintight jump suits? -Check!
DOLPH:
*Masters Of The Universe – He-man is the worlds manliest name and Dolph Lundgren is the worlds manliest man, when combined they’re macho enough to turn lesbians straight.
WINNER:
ARNOLD – Two eighties classics versus Dolph in a mullet and furry speedos… Another close call.
1988
ARNOLD:
*Red Heat – Little fat American teams up with big muscular foreigner and action hilarity ensues, done half assedly.
*Twins – Little fat American teams up with big muscular foreigner and action hilarity ensues, done poorly.
DOLPH:
(nothing)
WINNER:
DOLPH – Anyone who wasn’t in Twins is a winner.
1989
ARNOLD:
(nothing)
DOLPH:
*Red Scorpion – Red scorpion is What would happen if "The Gods Must Be Crazy" was raped by "Rambo".
*The Punisher – Imagine putting Tomas Jane’s "whimpering, rom-com Punisher" and Ray Stevensons "out of shape, soccer dad Punisher" in a room with Dolph Lundgrens "original" Punisher. Now, Imagine how many seconds it would take before DL was taking a steaming shit in Jane’s mouth while using Stevenson freshly de-boned corpse as toiletpaper. Not so many seconds, huh?
WINNER:
DOLPH – and the rest of the world.
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